God's timing never ceases to amaze me! This past Tuesday I attended a bible study with two of my best friends here at school; it was hosted by the home church of my friend, Nyasha. She had told me prior to our attending that the bible study was centered around dating and relationships. This of course intrigued me; it's always refreshing for me to hear how the biblical ideals of dating differ from the secular (i.e. dating with the intent of marriage, saving ones self for marriage, etc.). I show up to "The Loft" expecting to receive lessons on how to conduct myself in a relationship and maybe get a few tips from the professionals (married folks), but low and behold the lesson for this evening was on singlehood.
I know, God's timing is incredible!
A huge point made by Pastor Herb was that singlehood is a gift from God. For some reason, when he said this my mind just seemed to explode. I sometimes find that I'm lonely and I then think that a relationship would solve that problem. I mean, with a boyfriend I'd have someone to talk to, someone to hang out with, someone to think about and have think about me. Life would just be absolutely perfect! Right?
But what I (foolishly) don't always remember is that I'm never alone. I have someone that I can talk to at any second of the day. I have someone who is always by my side. I have someone who longs for me to think of nothing but Him and is constantly thinking of how much He loves me. How amazing is that? To think that the Creator of everything I have ever seen and will ever see loves ME. It's one of those things that is so hard to wrap your mind around, but it's true!
So, singlehood is a gift from God. As a girl who had been in a relationship for the last 5 years this seemed more than a little strange to me; and I imagine it would seem strange to many other people my age, but the more Pastor Herb spoke the more I understood. He explained that we as Christians need to trust in God's timing, we need to stop trying to control our own lives (love lives included) and rely on His plan. When someone is single they can more easily focus on the voice of God and what He may have in store for them. Pastor wasn't dissing relationships or marrige; God clearly supports marriage if it is of Him, but he was sure to emphasize that we should wait for the right person. Christians aren't called to casually date and throw themselves towards any willing suitor, but they are instead called to wait. Waiting can be a hard task, especially on days when I do feel lonely or just simply long for someone who is more than just a friend, but I am so excited about this season of my life! I'm excited that God is calling me to serve. I'm excited that He may be preparing an amazing man for me. A man who is absolutely in love with Him. And yes, I am also excited with the idea of waiting. For during this time of waiting I know He will not only do great things through me, but He will also be preparing me for whatever and whoever may lie ahead.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Prodigal Daughter
Luke 15:11-24
Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the inheritance.' So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said 'How many of my father's hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.' So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."
Well, here we go! Where to begin?! The last few months have been very...unexpected (for lack of a better word) and I have found myself on a totally new path, a path that has been planned by my Heavenly Father instead of myself. Plans. Why do we as humans always try to plan? I'm not speaking in regards to when you're going to do your homework or what you're going to have for dinner, but I'm talking about the "big plans". Plans like, where you're going to live, what major you're going to have, or (what seems to be expected of young adults my age) what you're going to do for the rest of your life. It seems as if my entire life has been focused on and around what plans I had for myself, and it never crossed my mind that maybe, just maybe God might have things in control. Because ultimately, isn't there only one plan that matters: His?
What is so obvious to me now; that I need to give up control of my life to the Lord and trust in his plans, was not always important to me. I had plans to attend college at Millersville, receive my degree in Social Work, get my masters (to make more money of course), marry the boy I had been dating for almost 5 years, settle down, have kids, raise kids, grow old, retire, and then die. This is a general outline of the life I had planned out for myself. There's nothing wrong with this life! I would have been content, happy even, but when things fell apart I was forced to reevaluate my "perfect" plan and instead open my eyes to a life beyond my wildest dreams, a life designed specifically by my Creator.
This life-changing realization came when the relationship I had with my boyfriend ended. If you couldn't tell from MY plan, he was a huge part of the life I had laid out for myself. Simply saying I was heartbroken would be the understatement of the year. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like someone had just knocked the wind right out of me and I couldn't seem to fill my lungs back up. I was drowning in self pity and confusion. What had I done wrong? How could I get him back? Why was this happening? After sitting and talking with him for a couple of hours, the man I had called "mine" walked out of my home and out of my life. As I stood there, unable to help myself from watching his car disappear behind the gray macadam I felt a lonliness that I had never before experienced. Numbly I decended the stairs to the basement where I crawled into bed. I'd hoped that maybe I'd be able to sleep the hurt away, like a fever or headache, but found that my feeble attempt was foolish when I woke from my dreams and entered a nightmare.
(Background Info)
For 2 years prior to this heartbreak my relationship with God had been far from ideal. I attended church, youth group, and missions trips, but outside of those things I was living a sinful life. I had absolutely no relationship with God other than the slight guilt and remorse I felt when I sinned. I knew this was not how I, as a Follower of Christ, was being called to live, but I always thought that I could turn my life around later, when I was older and wiser and had settled down. I mean, these were supposed to be my rebellious years, right?! I know, this logic was completely foolish.
(Back to the Story)
So, here I am laying in bed, not sure of what to do next, when I sit up (which at the moment seems to take every fiber of my being to accomplish) and I cry out to my long lost Father. I plead for mercy and grace; things that I feel so unworthy of but so desperate for. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed that I ignored my God for so long. I'm ashamed of all my sin. I'm ashamed that it took so much pain for me to finally see that I am/have absolutely nothing without God. I reach over, grab my Bible and start reading. Before I know it I'm lost. But this isn't the kind of lost that makes your hands sweat and your heart race. I became lost in the Word and lost in God's peace. And when I say lost, I mean I felt the Holy Spirit. I felt him pick up my broken heart in his loving hands and begin to piece it back together. My Father saw me in my brokenness and he ran to me. There was no hesitation, no question of whether I would sin again (of course I would, time and time again) or if I would turn my back once more. He didn't care. He forgave my iniquities in an instant and wanted nothing more than to have me as his own once again. It is this relentless love that has completely stolen my heart.
I don't know why it took so long for me to come upon the realization that God is all I do and ever will need, but I do know that the heartbreak I went through was the best thing to have ever happened to me. I'm not saying that now I'm without sin or that everything is easy; that's not the case at all! Christians were never promised an easy, luxurious life. But now I have found my rock, my shelter. Through this difficult season of my life, this prodigal daughter found her way back into her Father's open arms.
Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the inheritance.' So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said 'How many of my father's hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.' So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."
Well, here we go! Where to begin?! The last few months have been very...unexpected (for lack of a better word) and I have found myself on a totally new path, a path that has been planned by my Heavenly Father instead of myself. Plans. Why do we as humans always try to plan? I'm not speaking in regards to when you're going to do your homework or what you're going to have for dinner, but I'm talking about the "big plans". Plans like, where you're going to live, what major you're going to have, or (what seems to be expected of young adults my age) what you're going to do for the rest of your life. It seems as if my entire life has been focused on and around what plans I had for myself, and it never crossed my mind that maybe, just maybe God might have things in control. Because ultimately, isn't there only one plan that matters: His?
What is so obvious to me now; that I need to give up control of my life to the Lord and trust in his plans, was not always important to me. I had plans to attend college at Millersville, receive my degree in Social Work, get my masters (to make more money of course), marry the boy I had been dating for almost 5 years, settle down, have kids, raise kids, grow old, retire, and then die. This is a general outline of the life I had planned out for myself. There's nothing wrong with this life! I would have been content, happy even, but when things fell apart I was forced to reevaluate my "perfect" plan and instead open my eyes to a life beyond my wildest dreams, a life designed specifically by my Creator.
This life-changing realization came when the relationship I had with my boyfriend ended. If you couldn't tell from MY plan, he was a huge part of the life I had laid out for myself. Simply saying I was heartbroken would be the understatement of the year. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like someone had just knocked the wind right out of me and I couldn't seem to fill my lungs back up. I was drowning in self pity and confusion. What had I done wrong? How could I get him back? Why was this happening? After sitting and talking with him for a couple of hours, the man I had called "mine" walked out of my home and out of my life. As I stood there, unable to help myself from watching his car disappear behind the gray macadam I felt a lonliness that I had never before experienced. Numbly I decended the stairs to the basement where I crawled into bed. I'd hoped that maybe I'd be able to sleep the hurt away, like a fever or headache, but found that my feeble attempt was foolish when I woke from my dreams and entered a nightmare.
(Background Info)
For 2 years prior to this heartbreak my relationship with God had been far from ideal. I attended church, youth group, and missions trips, but outside of those things I was living a sinful life. I had absolutely no relationship with God other than the slight guilt and remorse I felt when I sinned. I knew this was not how I, as a Follower of Christ, was being called to live, but I always thought that I could turn my life around later, when I was older and wiser and had settled down. I mean, these were supposed to be my rebellious years, right?! I know, this logic was completely foolish.
(Back to the Story)
So, here I am laying in bed, not sure of what to do next, when I sit up (which at the moment seems to take every fiber of my being to accomplish) and I cry out to my long lost Father. I plead for mercy and grace; things that I feel so unworthy of but so desperate for. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed that I ignored my God for so long. I'm ashamed of all my sin. I'm ashamed that it took so much pain for me to finally see that I am/have absolutely nothing without God. I reach over, grab my Bible and start reading. Before I know it I'm lost. But this isn't the kind of lost that makes your hands sweat and your heart race. I became lost in the Word and lost in God's peace. And when I say lost, I mean I felt the Holy Spirit. I felt him pick up my broken heart in his loving hands and begin to piece it back together. My Father saw me in my brokenness and he ran to me. There was no hesitation, no question of whether I would sin again (of course I would, time and time again) or if I would turn my back once more. He didn't care. He forgave my iniquities in an instant and wanted nothing more than to have me as his own once again. It is this relentless love that has completely stolen my heart.
I don't know why it took so long for me to come upon the realization that God is all I do and ever will need, but I do know that the heartbreak I went through was the best thing to have ever happened to me. I'm not saying that now I'm without sin or that everything is easy; that's not the case at all! Christians were never promised an easy, luxurious life. But now I have found my rock, my shelter. Through this difficult season of my life, this prodigal daughter found her way back into her Father's open arms.
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