"The Deep AM"

Howdy from TEXAS!! I have been here for almost 2 weeks and I am finally getting a chance to write a little something for y'all!

I am currently working the "Graveyard shift" (10 p to 6 a) and I am taking advantage of the combination of wifi AND free time!

So: I am residing in sunny Waco, Texas, home to the Baylor Bears (GO BU!!) and the birthplace of Dr. Pepper and the David Crowder Band! I am working (volunteering?) at the Family Abuse Center, a shelter for those who have been affected by domestic violence.

It's easy to say that there will be challenges in your year of volunteer service, but when you usually say this (at least in my case) the concept of traveling afar and being a "light in this dark world" is exciting and exhilarating! While I've had an amazing time thus far here in Texas, I have definitely been surprised by some things.

For example: While at orientation, my leader, Callie, told us that when we are at our placements there will be clients who really don't care who we are and why we're there, they will simply just want the services we can provide. This could not be truer at times. Here I am, a young adult who left college to join BVS, and I'm hoping to speak life into these people...or if not actually speak it to just reflect Christ, and at times it seems as it some of them would rather I not be here at all.

Sure, I've messed up while I've been here (burning the beef stew was not one of my finer moments) but it's a learning process. I find myself sometimes seeking the sympathy of these clients but then I will catch myself. I'm reminded of why I'm really here: to help these individuals gain confidence and independence, to branch out on their own, and to establish healthy, lasting relationships. I am not here for their sympathy. I am not here to make myself feel better. I am here to serve. And sometimes service is not easy.

But if it was always easy, would it really be true service? If I wasn't struggling to constantly give of my time, patience, and resources to the clients, would I really, truly be serving them will all my strength?

I'm not saying service has to be difficult. And I'm not saying that I'm consciously seeking out situations where I am pushed to my limits, but I do think that working with these individuals is showing me the true love of Christ.

My failings and struggles are a testimony to just how perfect God is. He loves regardless of what we do or how we treat him, and I believe that this "revelation" is going to be a huge lesson for me over the next year.

I miss you all and I hope everything is going well wherever you may be!

God Bless!

Deep Thinking

Hello! I don't have much time to write seeing as I have to be in an orientation meeting in 13 minutes, BUT I really wanted to post this poem that was read to us last night. I'm usually not a fan of poetry due to the fact that rhyming poetry is only cute when written for small children and all other poetry is usually written in what seems like another language (and there are my poetry misconceptions for the day)! So here she is, enjoy!!!!!!!



"The Invitation"
 By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dreams for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon I want to know if you have touches the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful be realistic to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it's not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes." It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you are or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.